Good morning...
I got up a little too early today to get ready for church... and now ive had a good thirty minutes before i have to leave on my sunday morning run to Starbucks.
Im excited about church. It really is the highlight of my week. I get to do the worship for the Jr.high/high school group and i LOVE it. Allthough the kids dont always sing, and sometimes i feel like they are just sitting watching me, it is still MY time to worship too! Sometimes its the best worship ive had in a while. After worship and a message from Mike, we get to do "Chill Time" which is like small groups. The girls stay inside and we just get to HANG OUT! Sometimes we talk about the message... sometimes we pray... sometimes we just talk about the upcoming Prom and the school projects they have to finish. But it is so neat... i LOVE just being able to sit and listen to these girls... and have them know that i am here for them. Its such a huge blessing to be a part of the group. My church is amazing, so many open doors, so many great people... I simply love it.

Other than church, not much is going on really... i work a lot this week... early mornings which in turn RUINS my sleep pattern and on my first day off i sleep ALL day. Its a bummer... but hopefully soon enough i wont have to do it anymore. I have an interview in two weeks for a clerical position for the local medical group. Not only would i get regular hours, a higher pay, better health benefits... i could wear real clothes! No more black pants/shirts/shoes/socks... AND i dont have to cover my tattoo! hoorah! So be praying for me on the 29th at 2:30...

Lastly... i want to get my hair sone again. Im thinking either blonde blonde again... or more colorful like the picture on this page... but im NOT cutting it... i want to be able to put my hair ina ponytail if i want.... its been so nice waking up at 3 am and just throwing it back... instead of having to wash and blow dry and straighten... So we shall see... If i ever figure out this BLOGGER... maybe i'll post some pics.

this wasnt a very artsy or thoughtful blog... maybe next time...
~jill

ahhhh!

I want to be content.

I crave it, really.

Tonight it got so bad that i was thisclose to writing Luke. What good would that have done?

I guess an empty house makes you crazy...

my new best friend....

Ana Sophia Cowen was born yesterday! I got to go see her today... and she is PERFECT!

I mean... getting to hold someone who isn't even 24 hours old yet... it was the craziest thing! Little fingers and little toes... it just makes you realize how AMAZING our God is!

It's so weird to think that yesterday afternoon, there was no little baby in a pink onesie... no burp cloths with spit up on them... Hannah wasnt even planning on going in untill monday! Surprise! Now there is a perfect little girl, in her cute pink outift, with a precious headband on her day old head... :)

Ana has this perfect blonde birthmark on the side of her head... mixed in with beautiful dark brown hair. It's so unique. What a fun gift from God birthmarks are... I have one on the back of my leg... its a wierd shaped mark with a ton of freckles in it. Matthew calls it "poop." God has such a great sense of humor.

Is it weird too, that this baby (and her older brother Matthew), have completely stolen my heart!? And they arent even family! Hahaha...

Ok, so that's all for now. Maybe once i figure out this blogspot stuff i'll post some pics of my new best friend Ana Banana. (pronounced AH-NAH BAH-NAH-NAH!)

Love.

oh my.

Ok... so im not super tech savy and i dont know how to make it so you can see the whole picture... Its a funny one too... :(

Oh well. hahaha

All you ever needed to know about me...

nataliedee.com

... can be found in Nataliee Dee cartoons. For Example: this one pretty much sums me up. That's all for today.

Grandpa Johnny

My Grandpa is dying.
It sucks, not just cuz he's going to die... everyone dies. But because his heart is hard. All my life our family has been telling him and my Grandma about Jesus. But they don't want anything to do with Jesus. To them, its all a joke. And it makes it very hard to be wround them during the holidays and other family get togethers. But nevertheless... my amazing dad has continued to tell them more and more about Jesus (whether they like it or not). I know this time just SUCKS for him. I can't imagine how much he hurts. I guess lately my Grandpa hasnt been sleeping, he gets woken up in the middle of the night and he'll just go out and sit in his chair. I pray that the Lord is speaking to him during those long nights... that he is reflecting on his life... all the things my dad has told him over the years... Anyway... Im working on a new song. Its about my grandpa.
Someday i'll post it.

last november

Here's another poem i wrote this summer... i was thinking a lot about the whole concept of "I'm not who i was..." and this just came to me. It's super personal, and extremely cathartic...

Last November

"I hate so much of who i was.

No longer the girl who was there that night.

I was drunk.

Not drunk on wine, or hard liquor.

Drunk on affection.

No, affection is the wrong word.

Affection brings forth feelings of endearment.

There were no feelings involved on his part.

He was blank.

And i was drunk.

Drunk on attention.

It started with just a "sip."

Unbuttoning my blouse, then i simply jumped in.

Drowning in his ocean of lies.

The sheets could have been my life vest, saving me from what was to come.

But they were carelessly tossed aside.

We lay there...

Naked.

Vulnerable.

Blank.

Drunk.

I hate so much of that night...

Ciggarettes and peppermint gum.

Scruffy beards and robotic kisses.

Blue Chevy trucks and grey buttons.

I hate him.

I hate me.

I hate so much of who i was."

If you know me at all, you know what this is about. Praise our Father that i have become such a different person. Thats what is so amazing about God... he can take the most awfull situation, and bring forth so much GOOD! Allthough i may have been hurt, and i know what i did that night was wrong... i am thankfull for the lessons learned in it, and who i have become... a woman searching after the heart of her Father in heaven... not about to give herself over to anyone...

Praise God!

Thank you Jesus!