my heart hurts

I am a Crush Slut... basically i throw my heart out there at anything with two legs and a Y chromosome. So, this week i fell for another stupid boy... seriously, it makes me sick to look at how many times i have done the same thing to myself. I get an OUNCE of attention from said Y chromosome and i'm instantly "crushing." I read into every little text, every little joke, ever little nudge at the movie theatre... and its sickening.
So then, when i realize the truth behind it all, my poor little heart just drops.
"You did it again, Jill! Dont you get it!?"
But, i DON'T get it! I think that maybe THIS time it will be different. This will be the one. This will be the one who is interested in ME and not a good drunken time. This will be the one who sticks around long after the guitar lessons and haircuts are done. This will be the one who wants to go to church with me every week... stand next to me during worship, and not think about ME... but think about our GOD! THIS COULD BE IT!
...but then its not... and im stuck on my couch on a saturday night... while everyone else is out with their "one"... and i am posting another sappy blog.



my apologies for sappyness...