I haven't posted any blogs in a while. My mind has been filled with TONS of things to write about, i just haven't put any effort into actually sitting down and trying to sound clever. And now, all those things i could have written about don't seem so interesting or important. So, today is a short one... maybe soon i will have more to write about.
Right now i feel like I'm sitting in a waiting room. God's HUGE waiting room. I have felt like this for a while now, maybe a few months. Like the Lord has me in this period of preparation and waiting for whatever it is He has in store for me. So many things i feel like I'm waiting on... a steady job... friendships to flourish... a relationship... starting school again... a career... ministry opportunities... my future in general... SO MUCH! And I'm just sitting here... WAITING! I know, it is all going to work out... but man, could we speed up the process!? :)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
a "Broken" Heart...
The heart is a tricky thing. Lately i have been thinking a lot about being broken hearted. WHY are we broken hearted? Do our hearts break for the RIGHT reasons? WHAT do you do with a broken heart? I feel totally surrounded by this subject...
Tonight, as i watched Extreme Home Makeover, i was struck by such an amazing thought. The lady that they were building a new home for had a BROKEN HEART. But literally, it didn't work right. It was all out of wack with its beats and it could potentially kill her at any moment. But, do you know what she did? She didn't DWELL on her broken heart. She spent her time thinking about EVERYONE ELSE! She spent her time thinking about what she could do for the kids at the local school, she spent her time thinking about what she could make for people in need, she spent her time focused on OTHERS! And she even said that a piece of her heart was with all those people. WOW!
I sat there and thought, "WHAT am i doing?! I spend SO much time upset about situations that i might be in. Heart broken over this or that. Frustrated over feeling lonely. It's ridiculous. When this woman, with a REAL broken heart, did nothing for herself. Definitly was a smack in the face. A good one.
Just something to think about...
Tonight, as i watched Extreme Home Makeover, i was struck by such an amazing thought. The lady that they were building a new home for had a BROKEN HEART. But literally, it didn't work right. It was all out of wack with its beats and it could potentially kill her at any moment. But, do you know what she did? She didn't DWELL on her broken heart. She spent her time thinking about EVERYONE ELSE! She spent her time thinking about what she could do for the kids at the local school, she spent her time thinking about what she could make for people in need, she spent her time focused on OTHERS! And she even said that a piece of her heart was with all those people. WOW!
I sat there and thought, "WHAT am i doing?! I spend SO much time upset about situations that i might be in. Heart broken over this or that. Frustrated over feeling lonely. It's ridiculous. When this woman, with a REAL broken heart, did nothing for herself. Definitly was a smack in the face. A good one.
Just something to think about...
Monday, December 8, 2008
GOOD Lord! :)
Psalm 13: 5-6
"But I trust in Your unfailing love;
My heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
For He has been good to me."
I am so excited about what the Lord is doing in my heart lately! I mean, yeah, there are still days when my depression takes over and i just want to sleep. Or situations that arise where i think, "What the heck is going on!?" But, still, the Lord has BEEN GOOD TO ME! Faithfully! To me, of all people! I am the least deserving of his goodness... yet he POURS it out! Here's my story today of how GOOD HE IS!
Last week i figured i needed some "encouragment" in my days. So, i was at work, and i noticed on the stations web page they had an advertisment for a daily encouraging thought sent to your cell phone. So, i signed up. And totally forgot about it.
Last night i was a little sad. My heart was just hurting and i was bummed about a lot of stuff... just silly situations that have come up over the past few weeks... not so fun. Well, i just wanted to sleep it off. Today, i woke up to a text message... here is what it says,
"God can heal your broken heart, but you have to give Him all the peices."
Thank You Father! Your timing is amazing! Sometimes i just want to jump for joy over these things you are revealing to me! (if only i could JUMP!) I know i will always have hard days, but you are still there! WHERE can i go from Your spirit!? Where can i flee from Your presence!? YOU are always there, God! You have been SO good to me! ♥
"But I trust in Your unfailing love;
My heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
For He has been good to me."
I am so excited about what the Lord is doing in my heart lately! I mean, yeah, there are still days when my depression takes over and i just want to sleep. Or situations that arise where i think, "What the heck is going on!?" But, still, the Lord has BEEN GOOD TO ME! Faithfully! To me, of all people! I am the least deserving of his goodness... yet he POURS it out! Here's my story today of how GOOD HE IS!
Last week i figured i needed some "encouragment" in my days. So, i was at work, and i noticed on the stations web page they had an advertisment for a daily encouraging thought sent to your cell phone. So, i signed up. And totally forgot about it.
Last night i was a little sad. My heart was just hurting and i was bummed about a lot of stuff... just silly situations that have come up over the past few weeks... not so fun. Well, i just wanted to sleep it off. Today, i woke up to a text message... here is what it says,
"God can heal your broken heart, but you have to give Him all the peices."
Thank You Father! Your timing is amazing! Sometimes i just want to jump for joy over these things you are revealing to me! (if only i could JUMP!) I know i will always have hard days, but you are still there! WHERE can i go from Your spirit!? Where can i flee from Your presence!? YOU are always there, God! You have been SO good to me! ♥
Saturday, December 6, 2008
"For Good"
I am SUPER passionate about friendships. But unfortunatly, that isn't always the best... and sometimes people get hurt. Well, this week (as i said earlier) the Lord has been revealing a ton of stuff to me. The other night, when my momma and i went to see "Wicked" i full on broke down into tears during this song. It just made me think about the whole situation that i am in right now. And over these past few days, i see that this song is SO meaningfull towards so many situations in my life... past and present. So, for those of you who are my friends, and maybe we havent been so close, or maybe there has been drama there, or just unspoken junk between us, or full on pain... this is for you.
"For Good"
"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those who help us most to grow,
If we let them, and we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun.
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good
It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime,
So let me say before we part,
So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
I have been changed for good..."
**lyrics in bold are for YOU.
"For Good"
"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those who help us most to grow,
If we let them, and we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun.
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good
It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime,
So let me say before we part,
So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
I have been changed for good..."
**lyrics in bold are for YOU.
just for me!
Wow... this week has been so hard, but so amazing at the same time. The Lord is working on me and it is awesome!
I found myself sad many times this week. Just not feeling like "enough." Well, the other night i really wanted to listen to an OLD cd that i hadn't heard in a long time. As the songs played, it was as if the Lord was singing right to me! Those songs were written to my heart! They were just what i needed at that very moment! It was amazing. Here are just some of the lyrics. Maybe you will be encouraged as well!
"...Make me Your child, let me hold Your hand and run with You.
Touch me with Your grace, love me beyond what I am.
Forgive me for all that I do.
Fill me with courage and righteousness.
Send me Your knowledge of truth, and make me holy like You."
"...For generations I have waited for you,
Made you in My image, beloved child.
For generations I have longed for the day when I'll take you in My arms and say:
Your name is on My lips,
Your life is in My hands,
Your tears are in My eyes, have peace and know."
This one hit me especially hard... brought tears to my eyes...
"I lay this wasted body at your feet.
And the shambles of my day come jeering after me.
I'm lost, torn, bewildered, and I'm never worthy of You,
But in my weakest hour when no one else is there, You are.
How perfect Your love is, how gentle Your voice is.
How loving your touch is when I'm weak!
Your eyes look through me, to see a creation that you have made me to be.
Loving Savior, please rescue me.
I know you see me just the way I really am,
And the selfishness in me, is not the way You planned.
You take all my ugliness and wash it all away,
Whatever I have done You look at me and say:
How perfect your face is when you look at Me,
How I love your touch when you are weak.
You're scared and you're tired, but your dearest to Me.
And in your biggest heartache, when no one else is there, I will be.
You have formed my heart and You love me.
Even with my dragging sins upon me.
You see a child that once You knew,
And with undeserved faithfulness You say:
How perfect your face is when you look at Me,
How I love your touch when you are weak.
You're scared and you're tired, but your dearest to Me.
And in your biggest heartache, when no one else is there, I will be."
Wow! Thank you Father for my own love songs... you knew just how BADLY i needed to hear them. How BADLY i needed Your reassurance. You are amazing, God. ♥
I found myself sad many times this week. Just not feeling like "enough." Well, the other night i really wanted to listen to an OLD cd that i hadn't heard in a long time. As the songs played, it was as if the Lord was singing right to me! Those songs were written to my heart! They were just what i needed at that very moment! It was amazing. Here are just some of the lyrics. Maybe you will be encouraged as well!
"...Make me Your child, let me hold Your hand and run with You.
Touch me with Your grace, love me beyond what I am.
Forgive me for all that I do.
Fill me with courage and righteousness.
Send me Your knowledge of truth, and make me holy like You."
"...For generations I have waited for you,
Made you in My image, beloved child.
For generations I have longed for the day when I'll take you in My arms and say:
Your name is on My lips,
Your life is in My hands,
Your tears are in My eyes, have peace and know."
This one hit me especially hard... brought tears to my eyes...
"I lay this wasted body at your feet.
And the shambles of my day come jeering after me.
I'm lost, torn, bewildered, and I'm never worthy of You,
But in my weakest hour when no one else is there, You are.
How perfect Your love is, how gentle Your voice is.
How loving your touch is when I'm weak!
Your eyes look through me, to see a creation that you have made me to be.
Loving Savior, please rescue me.
I know you see me just the way I really am,
And the selfishness in me, is not the way You planned.
You take all my ugliness and wash it all away,
Whatever I have done You look at me and say:
How perfect your face is when you look at Me,
How I love your touch when you are weak.
You're scared and you're tired, but your dearest to Me.
And in your biggest heartache, when no one else is there, I will be.
You have formed my heart and You love me.
Even with my dragging sins upon me.
You see a child that once You knew,
And with undeserved faithfulness You say:
How perfect your face is when you look at Me,
How I love your touch when you are weak.
You're scared and you're tired, but your dearest to Me.
And in your biggest heartache, when no one else is there, I will be."
Wow! Thank you Father for my own love songs... you knew just how BADLY i needed to hear them. How BADLY i needed Your reassurance. You are amazing, God. ♥
Thursday, December 4, 2008
my prayer for today.
OH Father...
This one is all yours. There is NOTHING i can do right now. My friend wants his space... and time to figure himself out. And, in respecting that, i can't do ANYTHING. I have to just forget about phone calls and text messages and comments and messages... i can do nothing. I know You are taking hold of his heart, and i am SO thankfull for that! So, while i am not a part of his life right now, please work on him SO much! Hold that stinking heart of his and bring back that guy that i first met. Also, take away my feelings of rejection. the feelings of loneliness. Give me so much strength as i continue in this... it is SO hard... God, you know how my heart and my mind works... I DON'T even understand it... but YOU DO.
So, God, right now, please just work in this friendship. I don't know WHAT you have planned... remind me that YOUR will is what i must strive after. I love you so much, Father... hold my heart. ♥
This one is all yours. There is NOTHING i can do right now. My friend wants his space... and time to figure himself out. And, in respecting that, i can't do ANYTHING. I have to just forget about phone calls and text messages and comments and messages... i can do nothing. I know You are taking hold of his heart, and i am SO thankfull for that! So, while i am not a part of his life right now, please work on him SO much! Hold that stinking heart of his and bring back that guy that i first met. Also, take away my feelings of rejection. the feelings of loneliness. Give me so much strength as i continue in this... it is SO hard... God, you know how my heart and my mind works... I DON'T even understand it... but YOU DO.
So, God, right now, please just work in this friendship. I don't know WHAT you have planned... remind me that YOUR will is what i must strive after. I love you so much, Father... hold my heart. ♥
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Hmmm... A few things today
I have a few things on my mind tonight. As i close out my day doing my usual Internet routine... checking out my friend's blogs... myspace... gmail... church website... and finishing up on Facebook. Here are those things on my mind. In no particular order...
THOUGHT #1:
Today was December 2nd! A few months ago i was working at the radio station with a bunch of really great people. One of the ladies there was this awesome woman of the Lord... very strong in her faith and in prayer... she has a heart for the single ministry... she was just way cool. Well, throughout the course of the few days with her she told me that while she was making a list of prayer requests for the people working there, she put my name down and she wrote down the wrong date. She claimed to feel very strongly about the specific date that she wrote. She made sure i knew that it was probably no big deal, but to keep that date in mind. That date was December 2nd. Ever since then i would joke with my friends about that date... Even this morning, Gretch and i were joking about what could possibly happen today. It was so silly and fun. Well... looking back, today WAS a very important day. It was a BIG day in my friendship with an old friend. We were VERY close friends for a while, and this last year we just kind of grew apart. Well, yesterday she texted me to see if we could catch up today. We went out to dinner and had a GREAT time catching up and laughing and simply enjoying each other. And I'd like to think that THAT is why today was such an important date! :)
THOUGHT #2:
Ok, just so you know... this all SUCKS! I don't want to be the girl who WAITS around for you to figure out your CRAP. But i feel like i need to be there for you. Why would the Lord bring us together in the first place... for a few fun weeks and some heartache? Nope... that's not how He rolls. So... while you are off figuring out what it is you want... where it is you are going... whatever. I will be here waiting. Trying to find things to fill my time so i don't miss our fun times as much. That's all.
THOUGHT #3:
That DARN TREE! It might have taken me a few YEARS to get over you. And i can say, without a doubt in my mind, that I AM OVER it all. I have apologized... forgiven... and moved on. But, every time i am driving home and i turn that first corner onto the boulevard i see that TREE!
Every year, a family in town puts up this HUGE, BRIGHT, Christmas tree that you can see from MILES away. Well, a few years ago i went looking for that tree with a boy. Later that night we had our first kiss. That TREE brings up all these memories and i can't HELP but get a painful twinge of heartache every time i see it. I love Christmastime... but i HATE THAT TREE!!!!! Grrr!
Those are my thoughts for the evening... off to bed! Good night!
THOUGHT #1:
Today was December 2nd! A few months ago i was working at the radio station with a bunch of really great people. One of the ladies there was this awesome woman of the Lord... very strong in her faith and in prayer... she has a heart for the single ministry... she was just way cool. Well, throughout the course of the few days with her she told me that while she was making a list of prayer requests for the people working there, she put my name down and she wrote down the wrong date. She claimed to feel very strongly about the specific date that she wrote. She made sure i knew that it was probably no big deal, but to keep that date in mind. That date was December 2nd. Ever since then i would joke with my friends about that date... Even this morning, Gretch and i were joking about what could possibly happen today. It was so silly and fun. Well... looking back, today WAS a very important day. It was a BIG day in my friendship with an old friend. We were VERY close friends for a while, and this last year we just kind of grew apart. Well, yesterday she texted me to see if we could catch up today. We went out to dinner and had a GREAT time catching up and laughing and simply enjoying each other. And I'd like to think that THAT is why today was such an important date! :)
THOUGHT #2:
Ok, just so you know... this all SUCKS! I don't want to be the girl who WAITS around for you to figure out your CRAP. But i feel like i need to be there for you. Why would the Lord bring us together in the first place... for a few fun weeks and some heartache? Nope... that's not how He rolls. So... while you are off figuring out what it is you want... where it is you are going... whatever. I will be here waiting. Trying to find things to fill my time so i don't miss our fun times as much. That's all.
THOUGHT #3:
That DARN TREE! It might have taken me a few YEARS to get over you. And i can say, without a doubt in my mind, that I AM OVER it all. I have apologized... forgiven... and moved on. But, every time i am driving home and i turn that first corner onto the boulevard i see that TREE!
Every year, a family in town puts up this HUGE, BRIGHT, Christmas tree that you can see from MILES away. Well, a few years ago i went looking for that tree with a boy. Later that night we had our first kiss. That TREE brings up all these memories and i can't HELP but get a painful twinge of heartache every time i see it. I love Christmastime... but i HATE THAT TREE!!!!! Grrr!
Those are my thoughts for the evening... off to bed! Good night!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
