Forgiveness...

I am currently reading the book, "Captivating" by John and Staci Eldredge. It's an amazing book and it is truly opening my eyes to see who i am in the Lord's eyes. It speaks of real beauty, and healing the wounds we have recieved in the past, and being able to move on and grow into a truly beautiful and CAPTIVATING woman of the Lord. It is exciting and it challenges me. (if you haven't read it, i encourage you to do so.)

Well, last week i was reading the chapter on healing the wounds we have recieved in the past. And one section was on forgiveness. As i read through it i couldn't stop thinking of two guys in my life. Both that i allowed to hurt me. Both that left scars on my heart and both that i am reminded or constantly. Both that i cared about. BOTH that i need to FORGIVE! God showed this to me, more clearly than ever before, and just now i finished writing to both of them, apologizing for the things i have done, and forgiving them for theirs. And although a part of me feels sick... i dont really want to bring this all back up... you shouldnt have done that... i know that is NOT the Lord. Because i truly feel released! I feel clean! I feel like i can move on with my life, share these stories with the girls i work with, learn from them, teach from them, and become a better person because of it.


"Forgiveness is a CHOICE. It is not a feeling- don't try and feel forgiving. It is an act of the will... We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past... We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we chose to extend forgiveness to... those who hurt us. This is NOT saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is NOT saying, "I probably deserved part of it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And i release you. I give you to God.""


And that is what i did.



THANK YOU FATHER! Thank You for allowing me to be broken and to be hurt, because i know now that it has made me who i am today. I know that i am safe in Your arms now, You will keep me from harm. And i PRAISE You for that! Thank You for allowing my heart to be vulnerable enough to contact these guys. Help them to understand where i am coming from. Lord, please don't let this open up any cans of worms... You know? Help me to continue to forgive them. Help them to forgive me. I love You Father. You are too good. ♥