Freaking Ricky Martin... those lyrics are stuck in my head... "Livin la vida loca!" It is exactly what i'm doing right now... my life is CRAZY! INSANE! One day things are great... the next, not so much. And from my last update you can see some of that. Here is just a little bit more that i either forgot to mention, or has happened in the last few days.
I moved back home with my parents. Things were rough out in Highland. Lots of different situations that all piled on top of eachother. I simply couldnt be there anymore. I feel like im loosing friends left and right. I don't have a steady income so i can no longer pay rent too. So, last saturday i moved back to my parents house here in Yucaipa. It was a horribly stressfull day. I packed ALL of my things on my own... quite a lonely and sad experience. Then my dad helped me get the bigger things (bed, bookcases, etc.) home. None of which was done without a big fight. My dad yelling at us. Me being upset at my brother. No help from friends. I got home that night and was exhausted. Physically tired, and emotionally beat-up. I still havent unpacked all of my things... so my head feels cluttered.
Also, i haven't recieved my final paycheck from the family that i nannied for. They still owe me over 400 dollars. Here is where it gets complicated... My brother's wife, Dana, is the mom's personal assistant. So i have been asking Dana to see when i will get my check. To remind the mom that i still havent been paid, and so on. It had been over a month so i have been asking a lot. I would call the mom myself but she made it VERY CLEAR when i left the job that she never wanted to hear from me again. Well, a few weeks ago Dana gave me a check for $44.26... WHAT? Where did they come up with that number!? So i gave it back with a break down of ALL my hours, what i have recieved, and what is still owed to me. And STILL have seen no check or anything from this family. Well, Dana is obviously tired of me asking, so my brother Greg calls me on Sat (in the middle of this insane move) and tears me apart. He left a voice message on my phone that hurt me badly. Telling me that i need to learn about the world, and its my fault for not getting things in writing, and he just kept going. My mom and dad heard the whole thing... but they can't very well do anything about it. So now both Greg and Dana are mad at me, the family hates me, and i am down 400 bucks. NOT TO MENTION that my last months rent is due next week, and i dont even have enough money to put gas in my car. I feel totally stuck.
Then there is the siuation with Texas. What a great opportunity, that got SHOT DOWN in a matter of minutes. My mom is very against the idea, and there is no use fighting with her. She's pretty smart. Then, we had said that if we could find a furnished apt for cheap we would do it... well that fell through too. So all of my "open doors" are being slammed shut. Im not sure what the Lord is teaching me here, but i'm trying to understand.
So, im stuck at my parent's house. No money, no close-by friends, no job, no gas in my car. I spend most of my time online searching for a job, and the rest of it watching TV. I hate what my day to day has become. But, i don't want you to read this and become concerned for me or anything. Simply keep me in your prayers. I am in such a good place at my parents house, even if i am bored out of my mind. And i have an amazing church family that support me and love on me every week. Thats enough to get me through
Monday, September 22, 2008
update part 1
Ok... so life is CRAZY right now.
This summer i left my job at Starbucks, after six long frappucinno making years, to work for a family in Redlands as their nanny. While the kids were extremely cute, and the house workers amazing, the family itself stood for nothing i believe in. I felt uncomfortable since day one, and it simply escalated from there. So, a month in i gave my two weeks notice and got out of there... i still havent been paid my last check... but it doesnt really surprise me.
After leaving the nanny job, i finished out the summer at Forest Home. The first week i was a CCA councelor and i absolutely loved it. I had a great cabin and i instantly fell in love with the entire staff. The next week i was an assistant to two leaders up there, which i really enjoyed. If i could do that year round i would! The staff this summer was amazing! They accepted me into their little family right away, and made me feel like i was awesome. Which i am... i just needed a reminder! hahahaha
Once these two weeks of bliss were up it was back to reality. NO JOB. I have spent the last few weeks searching online, filling out applications, submitting resumes, you name it... i've done it! The only thing im not willing to do yet is settle. I left my last job because i hated it... im not going to go out and get some crappy job just cuz they are hiring and be miserable every day... i want something i will look forward to. Something that uses my passions and excites me. But unfortunatly, there IS NO JOB like that. I always tell people, "I'm a jack of all trades, master of none." I could cut your hair, give you a mani-pedi, whip you up a frappucinno or your exact drink order of a venti-half-calf-quad-shot-six-pump-sugar-free-vanilla-one-sweet-and-low-extra-hot-no-foam-latte, watch your children, lead worship, answer phones, ALL at once... while still looking good. BUT i can't get hired anywhere. You tell me where that makes sense!
SO... onto the Texas thing. I think it is great that i post a status update on facebook that says im moving and everyone instantly wants to know more. I should have thought that one through! hahaha! Yes, i would like to move away, and yes the opportunity has come up. There are still just a lot of things to pin down. Like... actually securing the apartment, figuring out moving details, furnished? unfurnished? And that ever present "i am dirt broke" situation. But for some reason this just feels right. And what better time than now.... I no longer live out on my own so there are no roommates or 12 month leases to hold me back. I dont have a job here, and NO ONE seems to want to hire me... maybe those Texans will have the perfect job. There are only a few things that really tear me up... my family and my church. I don't want to leave that! My mom is my best friend... and Texas is far. So that would just suck. And my church is amazing. I have finally found a place where i can call home. Where i am loved. Where i get to excercise my passions. Where i am comfortable. And leaving there would simply SUCK! Plus, where else do you have kids telling you to audition for American Idol!? hahaha i love them.
So right now everything is up in the air. I want to move and i want to stay. I am stuck in between... and not sure what the next step is. But it will all work out. I have no doubts on that.
This summer i left my job at Starbucks, after six long frappucinno making years, to work for a family in Redlands as their nanny. While the kids were extremely cute, and the house workers amazing, the family itself stood for nothing i believe in. I felt uncomfortable since day one, and it simply escalated from there. So, a month in i gave my two weeks notice and got out of there... i still havent been paid my last check... but it doesnt really surprise me.
After leaving the nanny job, i finished out the summer at Forest Home. The first week i was a CCA councelor and i absolutely loved it. I had a great cabin and i instantly fell in love with the entire staff. The next week i was an assistant to two leaders up there, which i really enjoyed. If i could do that year round i would! The staff this summer was amazing! They accepted me into their little family right away, and made me feel like i was awesome. Which i am... i just needed a reminder! hahahaha
Once these two weeks of bliss were up it was back to reality. NO JOB. I have spent the last few weeks searching online, filling out applications, submitting resumes, you name it... i've done it! The only thing im not willing to do yet is settle. I left my last job because i hated it... im not going to go out and get some crappy job just cuz they are hiring and be miserable every day... i want something i will look forward to. Something that uses my passions and excites me. But unfortunatly, there IS NO JOB like that. I always tell people, "I'm a jack of all trades, master of none." I could cut your hair, give you a mani-pedi, whip you up a frappucinno or your exact drink order of a venti-half-calf-quad-shot-six-pump-sugar-free-vanilla-one-sweet-and-low-extra-hot-no-foam-latte, watch your children, lead worship, answer phones, ALL at once... while still looking good. BUT i can't get hired anywhere. You tell me where that makes sense!
SO... onto the Texas thing. I think it is great that i post a status update on facebook that says im moving and everyone instantly wants to know more. I should have thought that one through! hahaha! Yes, i would like to move away, and yes the opportunity has come up. There are still just a lot of things to pin down. Like... actually securing the apartment, figuring out moving details, furnished? unfurnished? And that ever present "i am dirt broke" situation. But for some reason this just feels right. And what better time than now.... I no longer live out on my own so there are no roommates or 12 month leases to hold me back. I dont have a job here, and NO ONE seems to want to hire me... maybe those Texans will have the perfect job. There are only a few things that really tear me up... my family and my church. I don't want to leave that! My mom is my best friend... and Texas is far. So that would just suck. And my church is amazing. I have finally found a place where i can call home. Where i am loved. Where i get to excercise my passions. Where i am comfortable. And leaving there would simply SUCK! Plus, where else do you have kids telling you to audition for American Idol!? hahaha i love them.
So right now everything is up in the air. I want to move and i want to stay. I am stuck in between... and not sure what the next step is. But it will all work out. I have no doubts on that.
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